Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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