There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
