its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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