I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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