my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
