Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
