I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
