im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
