Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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