But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
