Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
