Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
