Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Is Oprah even human
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Damn victory sex feels great
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
