Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
