Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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