all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
