Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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