i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
