just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
