remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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