So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
