You work out of a Hotel?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
