gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
