My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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