Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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