That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
