Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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