I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
