they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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