Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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