so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
