i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
