you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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