Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
