I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
