You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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