So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
