Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
