I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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