I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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