Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
