I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
