she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
