I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
