He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
