have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
