when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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