what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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