This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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