mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
